MindTheLSpace
You mentioned you're a very feminine-presenting female that hates math, science, and engineering and that it helps contribute to your being NT-passing. Could you share more on the intersectional experiences of your gender identity & presentation and autism? To what extent does gender get policed in both the allistic and autistic communities? Thanks.

lipstick-autistic:

Okay, I really hope I can answer this well, because, not gonna lie, I am rather intimidated by the formality of your questions.

I’ve always felt a huge disconnect between my gender presentation and my autism. Growing up, the only autistic people I knew were boys, and when I finally got old enough to know autistic females existed (mostly through the books my mother got after my diagnosis), I felt very isolated by the types of girls they portrayed. There’s this pervasive stereotype that autistic people dress solely for comfort, that we wear huge, baggy clothing, and have no understanding of trends or styles, and that we often have trouble maintaining personal hygiene. 

I never felt any of that. I always had a distinct love of clothing, makeup, and fashion, and while I do experience sensory overload from certain types of clothing, it’s not the sort one expects. I loathe sweatpants and sweatshirts—they’re huge and make me feel disoriented in my body. The sort of ‘comfort first’ mentality perpetuated by portrayals of autism always isolated me. I like high heels. I like skirts. I like investing time and energy in my appearance. 

Non-physically, I am also one of those autistic people who gravitates towards language instead of math, though I can understand the attraction of patterns in both. Because language has always been deemed a more ‘female’ pursuit by society, I pass better as allistic, though I feel very isolated from the STEM-oriented stereotypes of autistic people.

It’s always been hard for me because I felt pressured to ‘look’ autistic while really wanting to be what was deemed ‘attractive’ by allistic people. For awhile I actually tried to dress how I thought autistic women should dress, like the things they were ‘supposed’ to like. I tried to like anime. I tried to care about science fiction. But in the end, I’ve realized there’s nothing wrong with me if I like Vogue instead of videogames, if I hate Star Wars and could care less about Sherlock. Forcing myself to fit into a stereotype of autism almost feels worse than trying to pass as allistic. 

In some cases, I’ve actually had my appearance and hobbies used against my autism diagnosis. I’ve had people tell me I’m ‘too pretty’ to be autistic—as if they were mutually-exclusive things, ugh—or that I ‘didn’t seem autistic enough’ for my opinion to matter.

Sadly, a lot of the crap I get about ‘not being autistic enough’ comes from inside the autism community. Allistic people seem to think I’m too autistic-presenting to be useful as an allistic; autistic people seem to be suspicious of me because I’m too allistic-presenting to be ‘properly’ autistic.

I guess, at its heart, that’s why I started this blog. Because I want to reassure myself, and other people, that there’s no ‘wrong’ way to be autistic.

As a visibly alternative person who dyes her hair, wears makeup, and loves wearing huge impractical boots on a day-to-day basis, I can really relate to this. There’s something very unpleasant about feeling as though people like you aren’t supposed to look like you, or like the things you like. About knowing that on the rare occasion someone like you is portrayed in the media, it’s unlikely that they’ll share you interests or outlook on life, and no chance whatsoever that they’ll look like you. 

This is actually worse now I’ve grown into an adult who regularly goes out drinking with friends (often in venues which play loud music), and is much more interested in the humanities and social sciences than engineering and physics. While I do have some ‘stereotypical’ interests (I read a lot of fantasy fiction), overall I’m not what an autistic woman is assumed to be, and I find it very hard to lose sight of that. 

On a slight tangent, I’ve also noticed that people on the spectrum are sometimes treated as blank slates. If we like something mainstream, it’s because we’re trying to fit in. If we like something countercultural or otherwise ‘weird’, it’s because we don’t know any better. The idea that we have our own preferences doesn’t always seem to register with people- or at least, that’s the impression I’ve got from the literature aimed at young autistics which cheerily advises us to ditch our ‘quirky’ interests in favour of ‘normal’ ones, as if it were the easiest choice in the world to make, whilst simultaneously implying that autistic people don’t take up ‘mainstream’ interests of our own accord. 

(I also went through the ‘Mould Self To Stereotype’ stage, by the way, although I was quite young at the time, I think in my case it was half a defence mechanism against the anxiety-induced social isolation I was dealing with. “It’s OK that I haven’t been to a house party yet, I don’t want to go to parties anyway” kind of thing.) 

shounenbraves:

paper towns aren’t very structurally sound & would be disastrous in adverse weather conditions

lohrien:

Violet Hill by `Charlie Bowater dA l tumblr

lohrien:

Violet Hill by `Charlie Bowater dA l tumblr

avatardedpotterhead:

rupeerose:

teafortrouble:

megg33k:

I need feminism because most men’s restrooms still aren’t equipped with baby changing stations. As someone who was married to a man who had sole custody of his young son, I’m hyperaware that feminism means EQUALITY, not female superiority. Feminism should and does support a man’s right to be as much of a parent to his child(ren) as any mother is allowed/expected to be.

This is a constant problem for Mr. Tea and myself. We’ve got twins, so even though I can change one kid on the change table in the ladies’ room, he’s left standing sort of awkwardly in the lobby with a messy child while I change one, come back, and get the other.

Nobody’s suggesting that men aren’t parents, so the lack of change tables goes well beyond ‘gender role reinforcing’ and straight into ‘ridiculous’.

My dad actually almost got kicked out of a mall once for changing my brother in the womens room of a mall. The only reason they didn’t call the cops on him was because the ladies in the room supported him.

Thank you this has always pissed me off so much!! What about single fathers?? What about children with two gay dads? What if the mother just doesn’t happen to be present for whatever reason and it’s an emergency? What if the mum is just sick and tired of getting up to change the nappy and it’s the dad’s turn to do it for once? It’s absolutely ridiculous that it hasn’t occurred to people yet to just add a nappy changer to the men’s bathroom. Aren’t men parents too? Don’t they have the right to take care of their kid without either having to sneak into the women’s bathroom and get called a pervert for it or having to stand outside awkwardly while the baby sits uncomfortably and cries because his or her father isn’t able to do anything about it?

No, I’m not ok. But I haven’t been ok since I was 11, maybe 12. I am still here though.
I’m still breathing. For me, sometimes, that will have to be enough.

kirschteinvevo:

anon hate is like the weakest thing ever. imagine anon hate in real life. imagine a stranger running up to you with a bag over their head and screaming at you. imagine that. thats anon hate.

howelljenkinspendragon:

the-siege-perilous:

Can you imagine someone casting their first successful corporeal Patronus, but it comes out enormous and unidentifiable and it just keeps emerging out of their wand… everyone turns to watch, confused and concerned, and the caster just stares blankly at the Patronus until some nerd recognizes the shape and shouts, “Good lord, it’s a Blue Whale!”

tookandbrandybuck:

rosityler:

#this dialogue was like watching steven moffat give himself a blow job

The gods knew the man deserved it… but young Sam was watching him, across thirty years. When we break down, it all breaks down. That’s just how it works. You can bend it, and if you make it hot enough you can bend it in a circle, but you can’t break it. When you break it, it all breaks down until there’s nothing unbroken. It starts here and now. He lowered the sword.
Night Watch - Terry Pratchett (via nightbringer24)
the-transcendent:

deifox:

I don’t think this is a handbag. 

What

I remember my Mum owning one of these a couple of years ago. This is a duster you wear on your hand like a mitten. 

the-transcendent:

deifox:

I don’t think this is a handbag. 

What

I remember my Mum owning one of these a couple of years ago. This is a duster you wear on your hand like a mitten. 

bluepueblo:

Double Lines, Helsinki, Finland
photo via phillipe

bluepueblo:

Double Lines, Helsinki, Finland

photo via phillipe

mizumanta:

fusamara:

THE CRAB

I expected a Pokemon

tooquirkytolose:

tooquirkytolose:

Made this in an exercise of ‘Actually start something and then finish it, God dammit’.

reblogging for the 15 people who followed me based solely on this

Nazgûl

1st by Unita-N on deviantART

2nd by yonaz on deviantART

3rd and 4th by daRoz on deviantART

Please don’t remove the credits.